This entire week I've had this overwhelming feeling of dread.
A constant sick feeling in my stomach.
Waking up in the middle of the night trying to figure out what was wrong, what was missing.
Half asleep asking myself, "Where is Gabi?".
She's at the vet.
So everyday I visit.
I call two, three times a day.
Everyone knows me by sight now.
"Oh it's Gabi's Mom, go get the Doctor" (I have no name at the vet).
Well, today the Doctor called me at work to give me an update on her condition.
Good news - her blood count is up from 16 to 23, it's suppose to be around 45, but it's increasing rapidly so he's not worried.
Her kidney function is in normal range - which he said was surprising considering she's had two major surgeries in the past 6 days which left her with one kidney.
The best news of all... she can come home!
But we still don't have the biopsy results from her spleen and kidney. They had to send that off to South Africa.
Third world country you know.
And people here don't really give a crap about animals, so off to SA pet testing goes.
Anyway, on my way to pick her up I was thinking about how sad I felt and how I missed my husband and I figured I'd spend the evening wallow in the bed or sitting on the couch staring into space.
Because, well, I've got this overwhelming feeling of doom hanging over me.
And that's what you do when you have doom.
I walk in to the vet - and I get the regular shout out... "Hi Gabi's Mom!" (I'm resigned to the fact they will never know MY name).
I collect my little dog with all her medicine and instructions on how "calm" I have to keep her for the next two weeks.
And I can't believe how much more alert and happy she is. She even sat up for the whole car ride home looking out the window like she usually does. And she was wiggling in joy around me.
The last time I took her to the vet she didn't even raise her head from the car seat, much less sit up.
My mood starts improving.
Then we get home, I change then sit in "our" chair. It's the chair Gabi and I hang out in during the evenings. I'm scratching her back, rubbing her belly, massaging her feet...AAANNNDD
I realize that I'm happy.
All the way to the bone happy.
No doom and gloom, no sick feeling.
All is right in my world.
Tonight at least.
It doesn't get any better than this...
Well without my husband home it doesn't get any better than this.
With him home it would be perfect.