I Still Have IT, but Don't Know if I want IT...

I'm at Starbucks.

I just met with a recruiter - I think he was more interested in how I could help him get a job in the Middle East than getting me a job here.

But that's o.k. he was really nice.

Anyway there is a guy sitting in a separate group of chairs across from me who has been winking and gesturing to a chair directly across from him.

I think he's trying to flirt with me.

I'm a little out of practice - after all I've not been single for about 10 years.

But I'm pretty sure he's flirting.

From what I can gather from his phone conversation he may be a life insurance salesman.

Which is about as attractive as a used car salesman.

I mean he's kinda cute, but not.

Like slimy cute.

Like probably married and has many numerous lovers on the side - slimy cute.

Shit he's coming over!

=======================

O.K. I was ignoring him - typing on my blog but the ignoring didn't work - he walked over and proceeded to have a 45 minute conversation with me.

He was trying to pick me up - even though I was wearing my wedding ring.

SLIME!

Oh and he is a insurance salesman - ick ick ick!

I screwed with him a little bit - until SP came in and rescued me.

I told him I didn't play for or with his team.

Told him that I preferred women and toys and he couldn't compete.

I've never laughed so hard in my life.

His face was priceless!

Wow! New Countries Viewing

I love looking at the Stats on Blogger.

Ever since I figured out that I could see who was looking, and from where I like to keep track and see if there are any new countries viewing.

This is the traffic from the past 24 hours:

Country                                 Page Views

Thailand                                    16
Taiwan                                      16
United Arab Emirates                    3 - This is me
Brazil                                           1
Canada                                        1
China                                           1
Hungary                                       1
United States                                1
 
This is the first time anyone from Asia has been listed as a viewer. 

I'm pretty sure the Thailand and Taiwan hits are from my Bieber post, the Stats don't indicate what brought them to the site but, personally I think the tweens in Asia are Googling "Justin Bieber dating" and they are getting my blog.
 
Boy they must be disappointed.  No gossip, just a little Bieber bashing.
 
And I'm pretty disappointed there were no comments.  I was kinda hoping for something melodramatic, you know like that guy on You Tube.
 
The one who cries "You leave Britney alone,  SHE'S HUMAN!"
 
http://il.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc&feature=related
 
I just watched this again.  I had forgotten how funny this little guy is, I am laughing my ass off. 

It's a good way to start the day.

Monkeys and Kittens

This was so cute I just had to share it!

The monkey has adopted the kitten.

It's too cute!

I need a Burqa for my Blackberry!

Oh wait, I need a Blackberry first!

A friend of mine showed me this article in the News Biscuit.

I mean how funny is that?!

It's a teeny tiny little Burqa for your Blackberry.

I wonder if you can really buy them...I want to get one for my husband.

It happened again!!!!

I must really be looking young!

I was carded AGAIN last night at the Wheelhouse here in Valdez!

Apparently I really don't look my age here in Alaska.  Which is weird because in previous years I wasn't carded.

But, hey I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.  If people think I look like I'm young enough to question whether or not I'm legal who am I to argue?!

I'm just going to bask.

I'm basking!

Oh my Gosh! I'm 20 again!

The most amazing thing happened to me on Saturday, my husband, my brother and I were in Anchorage, getting ready to start our drive to Valdez.

We went to Gwennies to have breakfast (we always go there to have breakfast when we're in town), my husband parked the car, and I ran in to put our name on the list.

While I was waiting for him and my brother to come in I had a seat at the bar.

It was 10 o'clock in the morning (yes we got a late start) and I decided to have a soda - I'd get my coffee with breakfast.

The bartender walked behind the bar and I ask her if I can have a drink...I wasn't sure if the bar was open in the morning.

Apparently it is - and not just for soda.

She took a look at me and said, yes but I need your ID before I can serve you.

I was taken aback.  I'm 40.  I haven't been carded in 10 years and who drinks alcohol at 10am?

Well apparently vacationers do...

So I looked at her and said, really?

She said yes, with a serious look on her face.

I then said, oh, I just wanted a diet coke - but you really want to card me? You don't think I look older than 21?  Oh my God!  I think I love you!

I know I could kiss you!

She smiled and gave me my diet coke.

This woman looked like she was in her mid 50's and was the type of women who didn't take any crap.

She made my day.

Now my husband is trying to sniff the youth out of me because he says I apparently have youth to spare.  I'm chasing him off because really, I'm not giving any of this up!

Who knows how long this mini sprint back in time will last!

Naked Gay Sex in the Streets

When I blogged about The Demons I forgot to tell you about the fact that crazy chest beating, spear throwing, freak said all Americans have, and I quote, "Naked gay sex in the streets".  And he said he knew it was true because he saw it on TV.

Hmmm I think he was watching porn...

So upon my return to the promise land I was looking forward to seeing this Naked Gay Sex in the Street.

I'm so disappointed.

I've been home for one whole day.  I went to Starbucks, Kroger, Fiesta, Einstein bagels, Christy's Doughnuts, and to Spectacles to have my eye exam.  And guess what?!

NO NAKED GAY SEX IN THE STREETS.

Was it me?  Did no one want to have Naked Gay Sex with me or around me?!

I was walking in the street.  I walked past people.  They were there, I was there.

No Sex.

None.

Nada.

Maybe I have the stink of the foreigners on me and the Americans can't tell I'm one of them?

Maybe the Naked Gay Sex in the Streets will happen in a week or so, after the foreign smell is wiped off?

I'm just saying, I'm finding this a little disheartening.

After all I'm sure the knuckle dragger knew what he was talking about, since he's never been to America.  After all he "saw it on TV".

Hairdresser = Crack Dealer

That's what my husband said this morning.

My hairdresser was like a crack dealer.  Apparently I'm addicted to him.

WTF?! 

He said I should just let him do my hair - it would be cheaper and he could do a better job.

Yeah, like I'm going to let him cut and color my hair!!!

He said that my visits to my hairdresser every 6 weeks was an addiction that needed an intervention.

He said; "I'm just trying to be a lovin' husband.  Help me help you"!

Oh My God but that man makes me laugh!

Btw - it's 7:30 in the morning and it's 101F.

And there is a wicked Shamal going on outside.

The Brazilian Butt Dance

This is hilarious!

I cannot believe this is real...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqKG1cEe4e8

It looks like these women are beating these guys!

It looks painful - I can't believe these guys VOLUNTEER to be beaten like this!

Ha ha ha!

Twilight - the Saga

I found this website:

http://bookstove.com/fantasy/why-i-hate-twilight/?25323#comment-25323

It's 95 reasons why you shouldn't read Twilight. 

And, OH MY GOSH do I love it!!!!

In case you didn't already know I'm not a Twilight fan.

Main reason:  Edward is a pedophile.

What 117 year old man is going to find a 16 year old girl interesting?

Bella looks more like a 13 year old boy than a woman, so he's not interested because she looks like a woman.

So pedophile.

It's the only explanation.

My favorite reasons on the list to not read Twilight are:

26.  Her vampires sparkle. Enough said.
28.  There is too much face touching.
45.  Bella.
46.  Bella is Edward’s beard.
48.  Straight men sparkle?
51.  Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.
59.  She had only been in Forks for a month when Edward had been watching her sleep for two months. (Ha ha ha!)
65.  The reason Edward can’t read Bella’s mind is because she doesn’t have one.
77.  A hundred years difference = pedophile.
 
I understand that I'm not the demographic that this book is aiming for - but I think I would have had a hard time with this one even when I was 16.  It's creepy when a man goes after a child. 
 
And I love this list because it states the one thing that kept me from even considering this series, the age gap.
 
And he's sparkly - really?  Sparkly?

HEATHENS!!!!

Isn't that a funny word?

HEATHENS!

HEATHENS!

HEATHENS!

I'm cracking me up!

DREAM KILLER!

I think that's funny too!

I have a headache this morning - maybe from the Zyrtec I'm taking to get my itching to stop?

Or it could be because this morning was really foggy and humid and my sinus passage is not happy with the change in the weather. 

Whatever the reason I have a headache.

HI! YA!

JUDO CHOP!

Blogging

Well today I've seen a couple of blogs that I like, or really photos held in a couple of blogs.

This one:

http://www.adafruit.com/blog/2010/02/17/emergence/

Is modern art - and I usually don't like modern art but this was really good.

And this one made me chuckle this morning which is pretty impressive, because as you know, I am NOT a morning person.

http://nerviosismo.tumblr.com/post/395023578/mindfuck

And I like this one - it made me smile, most likely because I'm pro choice and I'm pro gay rights (is that the term you use when you think all people should be treated equally regardless of their sexual orientation?).   

http://www.queerty.com/whats-more-important-the-rights-of-an-unborn-fetus-or-the-rights-of-a-living-homosexual-20100217/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+queerty2+%28Queerty%29

What can I say I have a bit of an off sense of humor.

And I'm hungry...you know what sounds good right now?  A pulled pork sandwich with coleslaw.  YUM!

Look at it:

http://thisweekfordinner.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/pulled-pork-coleslaw1.jpg

I want it!  But I can't get it here in the UAE.  I can get pork products - you have to go back to the porn oops I meant to say pork room to get them, but it's just the meat.  It's not cooked and presented so beautifully to the public.  Every time I go into the little pork room in the back of the grocery store I feel a little dirty, a little naughty. 

Like I'm a bad, bad girl.