I live in crazy town...

My husband and I went to the grocery store and before we started shopping we stopped by the Starbucks so I could have an iced green tea.  I've taught the Starbucks staff how to make ice tea because for some reason they don't drink iced tea here.

Don't understand why, don't pretend to understand why, really don't care as long as I can get the little guy to understand how to make it and serve it to me.

Anyway I digress.  While drinking my iced tea and eating my doughnut (yeah, I know, the weight will never come off if I don't stop eating.  All I have to say is; Step. Off. I had a bad day and I'm an emotional eater) we were reading the paper.

Y'all are going to love this.

An Iranian cleric issued a Fatwa against owning dogs.  Said it was too "western", dogs are unclean, and you'll be fined if you're caught with one.

http://gulfnews.com/news/region/iran/don-t-keep-dogs-as-pets-cleric-warns-1.643389

Here's another article.

http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/saudi-arabia/saudi-women-use-fatwa-in-driving-bid-1.643431

In this one a Saudi Cleric issued a Fatwa that says if a women breast feeds her foreign driver he becomes her son and therefore can mix with the women in the family without breaking Islamic law.  This is hilarious because the women are using this to say basically, so you'd rather we breast feed strange men rather than drive a car?

OMG is this CRAZY or what?!

And here's another crazy town article.

http://gulfnews.com/news/world/other-world/humans-will-be-extinct-in-100-years-1.643403

A scientist in London believes that humans will be extinct in 100 years and it's already too late to do anything about it.

It's a sandy, hot day in crazy town people and I'm going to have a drink - single malt.

It's medicinal.  I love my medicine!

Peace out!

Working in the Middle East

It's a trip here in the Middle East when new job opportunities come your way.

I had a guy send me an inquiry on LinkedIn yesterday wanting to know if I would be interested in a Risk Manager position.

Of course I said yes - I never turn down any opportunity without exploring it first.

I sent him my CV as a .pdf file - locked down (tell me I'm not paranoid).

And he sends me a note back saying thank you and could he have my "complete" CV with my personal details included.

Humphf.

I ignored the "personal details" part as I have my contact details as well as a statement identifying myself as an American on my CV. But I added my first 5 years of employment history (seriously, who cares what I did in 1993?!) and sent it back to him.

I get another e-mail back from this guy, thanking me again for my CV and could I please send a sheet with my personal details. He included a phone number so I called him. 

And he answered the phone in one of the most professional ways possible, "Yeah?". 

Really?!

I asked if this was XXX, he said "Yeah", and I identified myself and asked what he meant exactly by personal details.

Guess what he wants?

My passport number, my birthday, my address, my age, marital status, where I'm from in the US etc...

Basically everything you need to steal my identity or come rob me.

So of course me being me, I asked why he needed that kind of information to determine if I was qualified for the Risk Manager position. This is the condensed version of how the conversation went:

Him:  Um...um... I just need it.

Me:  Well I need a better reason than that - what are you going to use it for?

Him:  Let me tell you about us, we're a property management company and we need a risk manager.  Give me your personal details, we need them to determine if you will go to the next round.

Me: Well I don't give out that information to people I don't know.  You contacted me from Linkedin and I have no idea who you are or if you really represent this company.  And next round of what?

Him:  Just give me your birthday, how old are you, what is your address?  I need to know if you fit the band.

Me:  Band of what?  I don't understand how my birthday and address are necessary to determining if I have the background for the position.

Him:  Just tell me your age.

WTF?!

Me:  How about this, take the average age of a university graduate, then add on my years of experience.  That will give you an idea.  I'm not comfortable giving you my personal information, my CV should have everything you need.

Him:  Well I'll let you know if you move to the next level.

Me:  Mmmm, Yeah. That's O.K.  Bye.

WTF?!  Give me an Effing break! 

So I look up the company online (I should have done this in the first place like I usually do) - and guess what?  The company doesn't have any listings for Risk Managers in Dubai, and the phone number he gave is not the same exchange as the company.  Numbers here tend to start with the same exchange depending on what area they are in.  Especially large companies like the one this guy was suppose to be from.

Then I went back to check his e-mail address - it was a Google account instead of a company one.  I guess I wasn't thinking this morning.  Maybe coffee deprived?

Best case, he actually did work for the company and was a sexist, racist, ageist, bigot.  At worst he was a thief.  Although really is a bigot better than a thief? 

Most likely not as thieves are usually equal opportunity.

America, America, my home sweet home....

I can't wait to be back in a real job market.

Hairdresser = Crack Dealer

That's what my husband said this morning.

My hairdresser was like a crack dealer.  Apparently I'm addicted to him.

WTF?! 

He said I should just let him do my hair - it would be cheaper and he could do a better job.

Yeah, like I'm going to let him cut and color my hair!!!

He said that my visits to my hairdresser every 6 weeks was an addiction that needed an intervention.

He said; "I'm just trying to be a lovin' husband.  Help me help you"!

Oh My God but that man makes me laugh!

Btw - it's 7:30 in the morning and it's 101F.

And there is a wicked Shamal going on outside.

Oh I forgot to tell you...

I had a dream this morning.

I belonged to a gang; yes me, in a gang.

My gang colors were yellow - we wore yellow hoodies. 

O.K. if you know me, you know that I can't stand to wear the color yellow.  It makes me look like I have jaundice.

And there was another person in this yellow gang that I could see, just one.

There were others milling around in the background - but like in most of my dreams they were there, but not there, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, there was another gang (isn't there always?).

They wore powder blue hoodies and they wanted me to join them.

And boy did I want to join them, because really, powder blue versus yellow? 

There is no contest.

But I had to be careful because if the yellow gang found out I was leaving I would be in trouble.

Gang trouble.

But I left!!!!

And I got my powder blue hoodie - which looked really good on me!

The yellow gang member that was standing next to me (the person was faceless and genderless in my dream) tried to stop me.

They had a hold of my arm and was pulling on my yellow hoodie.

But the powder blue gang was pulling on my other arm and they won the pull off!

At the end of my dream I was wearing the blue hoodie, the yellow gang didn't win!

Can I get a Whoop!  Whoop!

It's great being me!

So wanted, so loved...he he he!

What a waste...

I joined a gym.

I've been about 5 times.

In two months.

I don't think this is working out for me, I should know by now that joining a gym is just a waste of money.

For me anyway.

Unless I have someone meeting me there I just can't be bothered.  I'm one of those people who need a work out partner.  I don't like being alone when I exercise.

It's boring.

Too bad my husband doesn't work out - that would make it so much easier to get into and keep in shape.

God knows we both need to exercise. 

There are so many good things about being in shape.

Good health, good mood, better sex.

And really the best thing about being in shape...

Being able to wear anything.

It is so much more fun to go shopping when you are fit - let me tell you.

I use to be able to pull anything off the rack and the only problem I really had was the waist was too big.

Cause even when I'm skinny I'm Lush.

Or if you prefer Voluptuous.

What can I say - I have curves. 

My body shape was the rage in the 50's.  Which is why I prefer those styles - I rock 'em.

I could have been a pin up in the 50's.  I have/had the bust, waist, hip measurements for it.

But alas and alak I live in the 2000's, the 00's?  What do you call it when you are at the beginning of a century?  The Naughts? The O's?

Anyway - I guess I'll go back to work and think on the fact I'm not using the gym...

NOT!  (I'm laughing, I'm laughing!)

Blissful....NOT!

Guess what?! My Bliss has not been found.

Let me clarify, my Arabian Mocha Sanani has not been found.

As a matter of fact the SOB's at Starbucks have discontinued the brand.

Can you fricken believe that?!  And all of the reviews on Starbucks.com are excellent!

How can they do that to me?!
And why can't I add my two cents on the website?

http://www.starbucksstore.com/products/shprodde.asp?SKU=312969

I'm crushed!  And I'm not buying my beans at Starbucks anymore.

This SUCKS!

And, of course, no one in the UAE even knows that its been discontinued.

They keep telling me "It will come next week M'am".

BAH!

They need to look at their own website or communicate the fact that there will be no more Arabian Mocha Sanani for anyone.  Anywhere.

Fine.

I'm just going over to the dark side.  I've found another coffee that I like, I tried it for the first time today.  AND it's from Caribou Coffee.

Take that Starbucks!

I now love Caribou's Mocha Java.  And guess what? It too is made from Yemen beans.

http://www.cariboucoffee.com/asp/shop/detail.asp?c=1&p=75

So now I can have a proper Blissful experience again.

BLISS!

Ahhhhh....

NHS = What Americans do NOT want!

This is how the NHS handles healthcare:

Per Prof Alan Maynard, University of York

"More money for cancer, means less money for motor neurone disease. More money for cancer means less to treat patients who have got Alzheimer's."

He said many of the cancer drugs were portrayed as wonder drugs when they only extend a patient's life by three to four months."

"You are undermining NICE and all the work it does to target resources where we get the biggest health gain, the bang for the buck. And this drives a horse and cart through logical and systematic rationing of health care resources,"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8717793.stm

The UK system RATIONS health care.  If they determine that available medicines will only prolong your life an average of 3 - 4 months you don't get the drug.

But where do they draw the line?  Is one year an acceptable time limit to prolong life, or does the medicine need to prolong life five years or more?  Or is it subjective based on the disease and the area you live in (remember your doctor / hospital is based on your post code in the UK unless you go private and pay for your own health care).

In America we don't conduct a cost benefit analysis on how long you may live before the government decides if you can have the treatment.  We treat everyone. 

And yes you do get treated - if you show up to the hospital and you need to be treated - surgery etc... you have to be treated.  It's against the law for them to reject you on based on whether or not you can pay.

Can you imagine the uproar if the Government started putting limits on what treatment you could have because your estimated life span would only be an extra few months?!

Give me a break - we have fits when they try to take people off life support who are brain dead.  Do you think given a rationing system like the UK has that a Terry Shiavo situation would ever come to pass? 

I think not.  It would be way to expensive (15 years on life support) and she had no hope of recovery.

There is no way they would have put her on life support - she would have been declared dead the same day she collapsed.

And good luck if you get cancer or if you contract some non-main stream disease.  You are SOL.

And I can say I'd much rather be an uninsured American (and yes I have been) than an insured Brit.  I know, I've experienced both, first hand, as a local.