Good times, good people...

I'm having a great time here in the US!

I got carded four (4) times in Alaska!  Who knew I looked so young!?

And now I'm visiting my best friend and we're shopping, eating, and drinking!  I guess the diet will have to wait.

And my hubby and I are making the plan to move home!

I can't wait!!!

Ciao for now!

It happened again!!!!

I must really be looking young!

I was carded AGAIN last night at the Wheelhouse here in Valdez!

Apparently I really don't look my age here in Alaska.  Which is weird because in previous years I wasn't carded.

But, hey I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.  If people think I look like I'm young enough to question whether or not I'm legal who am I to argue?!

I'm just going to bask.

I'm basking!

Oh my Gosh! I'm 20 again!

The most amazing thing happened to me on Saturday, my husband, my brother and I were in Anchorage, getting ready to start our drive to Valdez.

We went to Gwennies to have breakfast (we always go there to have breakfast when we're in town), my husband parked the car, and I ran in to put our name on the list.

While I was waiting for him and my brother to come in I had a seat at the bar.

It was 10 o'clock in the morning (yes we got a late start) and I decided to have a soda - I'd get my coffee with breakfast.

The bartender walked behind the bar and I ask her if I can have a drink...I wasn't sure if the bar was open in the morning.

Apparently it is - and not just for soda.

She took a look at me and said, yes but I need your ID before I can serve you.

I was taken aback.  I'm 40.  I haven't been carded in 10 years and who drinks alcohol at 10am?

Well apparently vacationers do...

So I looked at her and said, really?

She said yes, with a serious look on her face.

I then said, oh, I just wanted a diet coke - but you really want to card me? You don't think I look older than 21?  Oh my God!  I think I love you!

I know I could kiss you!

She smiled and gave me my diet coke.

This woman looked like she was in her mid 50's and was the type of women who didn't take any crap.

She made my day.

Now my husband is trying to sniff the youth out of me because he says I apparently have youth to spare.  I'm chasing him off because really, I'm not giving any of this up!

Who knows how long this mini sprint back in time will last!

OPEN HOUSE!

I love going to open houses, seeing how other people live, how they decorate, and dreaming of when I can buy a house for myself.

I went to some open houses yesterday with a friend and had a great time.  We saw houses that were way over priced for what you could get (in my opinion anyway) and we saw houses that I thought were a good deal.

While I was looking I decided a few things:

1.  I do NOT want a 3 story house.  I would never set foot on one of the floors because it's too much of a pain to go up and down the stairs.  We live in a two story right now and we only go upstairs to go to bed.  What a waste of space.

2.  I need a yard.  I love the thought of having outdoor parties.

3.  I do not want my neighbors to be 2 feet from my house.  I need space and I don't want to see my neighbors every time I look outside.

4.  I want to be in a proper neighborhood so I can get to know my neighbors.  I don't want to live somewhere and not know who lives next door to me.

5.  I love, love, love the Heights!  But I want to look at the TC Jester neighborhood too...who knows maybe I'll like it and it's less expensive.

Today I'm going to do something else I love...I'm going to shop at TARGET!

Jet lag is not my friend

I'm sitting here in my friend's house, updating my blog.

At TWO O'CLOCK in the MORNING!

Do you want to know why?!

Cause even though I stayed up until 9pm yesterday and slept until 6am this morning, I feel asleep at 4pm today.

And kept on sleeping until midnight.  At which point I woke up.

All the way up.

Wide awake up.

So now I'm on facebook, my blog, and I'm watching really bad Sci Fi.

The velociraptors are trying to kill the paramilitary group.  On a deserted, volcanic island.

So far the velociraptors are winning.

I had my left over pad thai for dinner / breakfast?  Not sure what you would call it at this point.

I also had a little debbie oatmeal snack cake.

I'd been dreaming about those for a while.

yum.

I have to say - there are really bad commercials on at this time of night.

I guess I'll read for awhile...

Ciao Ciao

Naked Gay Sex in the Streets

When I blogged about The Demons I forgot to tell you about the fact that crazy chest beating, spear throwing, freak said all Americans have, and I quote, "Naked gay sex in the streets".  And he said he knew it was true because he saw it on TV.

Hmmm I think he was watching porn...

So upon my return to the promise land I was looking forward to seeing this Naked Gay Sex in the Street.

I'm so disappointed.

I've been home for one whole day.  I went to Starbucks, Kroger, Fiesta, Einstein bagels, Christy's Doughnuts, and to Spectacles to have my eye exam.  And guess what?!

NO NAKED GAY SEX IN THE STREETS.

Was it me?  Did no one want to have Naked Gay Sex with me or around me?!

I was walking in the street.  I walked past people.  They were there, I was there.

No Sex.

None.

Nada.

Maybe I have the stink of the foreigners on me and the Americans can't tell I'm one of them?

Maybe the Naked Gay Sex in the Streets will happen in a week or so, after the foreign smell is wiped off?

I'm just saying, I'm finding this a little disheartening.

After all I'm sure the knuckle dragger knew what he was talking about, since he's never been to America.  After all he "saw it on TV".

Oh! Oh! Oh!

It's 5:40pm and 135F outside, or 57C.

I'm bummed because it's no longer the hottest time of the day and I missed the high!

Guess what?!  It's 8:40am in Houston and only 83F (28C).  It's a lot cooler there than it is here.

Think I'll need a sweater?!

The money Alexander McQueen left ME!

Funny,  I didn't know that I was acquainted with Mr. McQueen much less that I knew him well enough for him to leave me any money.

This is Alexander:

He looks a little angry in this photo. 

Anyway, apparently I was wrong about our relationship or lack thereof, I received this note today:

Dear Friend

Mr name Barr perkins George personal attorney to Alexander McQueen - Designer
Fashion Label who died on the 11th day of feb 2010.I have the documents of a
large amount of funds which he handed over to me before he died made you a
beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Seven Million Great British
Pounds (GBP £7,000.000.00 ) to you in the codicil and last testament to his WILL Being a widely travelled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were recommended to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good and his friend was a gay aswell due to the fact that Mcqueen was a gay and claimed he realised his
sexual orientation when he was six. He told his family when he was 18.

 blah blah blah

Please if I reach you this time as I am hopeful, endeavour to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job.  I hope to hear from you in no distant time.

Yours in Service,
P.George & Co. Solicitors
Reply to my private email
 
Which was a gmail account. 
 
Now clearly this is authentic, you can tell by the excellent grammar and spelling skills Mr. P.George has demonstrated in this note.
 
And I have to tell you...I am so excited I can hardly stand myself!  SEVEN MILLION POUNDS!!!  That's like 10,500,000 in USD (the exchange rate right now is 1.51)!
 
I can buy a nice house in Houston, pay off any debt I may have, and all my problems will be solved right?
 
I wonder how long it will take to collect the money.  Should I just give them my bank details and have them wire it in? 
 
This is so exciting!
 
HA!
 
I wonder how many people actually give this guy his admin fee or their bank details when he asks.  I mean for spam to be so prevalent there must be a certain percentage of reciptients who actually respond.
 
Hmmmm.....
 
Anyway I just thought this was funny.  Me knowing Alexander McQueen.
 
Who knew I was a fashionista! 
 
I must own a lot of these Alexander McQueen dresses and shoes...
 

 
Not! 

It's not that I don't think they're pretty but I don't think I can pull this look off...
 
I neither tall nor skinny.  I'm also not 12 years old.  Look at her - she looks like an angry 12 year old.  I guess I would be too if my hair was pulled up like this.
 
So, I guess I'll send this P.George a note so I can collect my money.  
 
And btw - I'm not going to share!  Because I'm just that mean!

The weather...again

My little weather update...it's 11:00 in the morning and it's 120F.

That's 49C for those of you who are not familiar with the big F!~

I'm very happy right now.  We're leaving for the US on Friday!

Will I write if I'm wallowing in my happiness at being in the States?

We'll see!!!!!!!

Ben

Ben is my friend.

Isn't there a song about Ben?

Ah yes, it's a Michael Jackson song.

About a rat if I remember correctly.

My Ben is NOT a rat.

My Ben is Nevis.

Ben Nevis.

A smooth, 10 year, single malt from the central highlands of Scotland.

He is my friend.  Me likee him.

After this post everyone is going to think I'm an alcoholic.

But I'm not - I just like to have a glass at the end of the day.

On some days - not all.

I feel like I'm part of the rat pack, except I don't have a cigar in my mouth.

There's something about a glass of scotch that just makes you feel, grown up, posh, and sophisticated all at once.

And of course the whiskey gives you a warm fuzzy in your tummy.

I'm excited!

The closer Friday gets the more excited I am!

I'm going home!

Oh yeah baby!

Weather update:

It's 8:45AM and 104F.

It's a hot one...

"The Demons", "The Gays", and God

There is a guy that I met during the course of work.

He's from Africa.

And he's a chest thumping, spear throwing, woman oppressing asshole.

Here are some of his ideas that he felt like he had to share with me, while trying to have a business discussion.  Even after I told him to stop discussing these particular topics; Of course this is not the entire conversation - just the high points.  The salient points, the why the Fuck is this guy walking around on two feet instead of his knuckles points.

Topic:  Regulations and Business

Him:  America is failing because Capitalism is wrong.

Me:  Then why is America the richest, most influential country in the world?

Him:  Americans are all going to Hell.

Me:  I'll see you there.

New topic:  Corporate Governance

Him:  You have to be moral and ethical to be in business.  America is failing because the brokerage firms were robbing people and the regulators did nothing.

Me:  If there isn't a law requiring that a company do something or not do something how can a Regulator be faulted for not stopping it?

Him:  They shouldn't have been allowed to do those kind of deals they should have been stopped.

Me:  Who decides that a deal is "not right"?  You?  What gives you the right to tell me what to do with my money?  I'm an adult and if I choose to buy something that someone is selling, who are you to tell me I can't buy it if there is no law against it?

Him:  The government should tell you what you can buy so that you don't lose your money because you don't understand what you are investing in.

Me:  If I'm too stupid to research where I'm putting my money then I deserve to lose it and neither you or the government have the right tell me what to do with the money I earn.

Him:  It's the moral obligation of the government to protect you.

Me:  WTF?!  Morals have nothing to do with it!

Him:  You must be a moral and ethical person to be in business, what if the person you are doing business with is cheating on their wife?

Me:  I don't care what you do in your personal life.  You can be an effective leader and business person and cheat, you just need to follow the rules and regulations in place for that jurisdiction. It doesn't matter who you sleep with, or what you do as long as you aren't thieving, murdering, SOB who sleeps with small children or animals, and what you're doing doesn't put me in jail.  No one cares what you do in your personal life.

Him:  It does matter who you are as a person, how can you do business with someone who doesn't have morals.

Me:  Nope it really doesn't matter.

Him:  What about Gays?

Me:  What?

Him:  Gays.

Me:  You mean homosexual people?!  Watch it my Sisters are "Gays".  And there is absolutely nothing wrong with them.

Him:  Yes there is, I shouldn't have to watch such things.

Me:  So, "The Gays" have sex in the streets in Africa?

Him:  No, but it's wrong and against God.

Me:  God created everything and everyone so how can it be "against God"?  And if "The Gays" aren't having sex in the streets in Africa how in the world are you watching them?  Are you peeking in their windows?  Don't you think you are a little too interested in what two consensual adults are doing in the privacy of their own homes?  Don't you think you should be a little more interested in world hunger, the oppression of women and children?  You know things more important than who is sleeping with whom?

Him: It's an abomination of GOD! 

Me:  I don't believe in God - it's man's way of trying to understand the world so they don't freak out and spend their lives rocking in a corner.

Him:  YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD?!

Me:  Nope and people who are gay are born that way and there is nothing wrong with it.

Him:  They are possessed by Demons that need to be exorcised.

Me:  What the FUCK?!  You sound like you are straight from the Middle Ages.  Uneducated with no idea what you are talking about.  Do you have any other questions about Corporate Governance?  Because this conversation we are having is over, I can't talk to people like you.

Then he asked a few questions regarding business and we went our separate ways.  But not before he tried to engage me in conversation again regarding "The Demons", "The Gays", and my morals.

I can't believe I live in a place with such backward people.

Btw - I do believe in God - just not his God.

The Declaration of Independence

This is a great document - I miss America...

http://www.earlyamerica.com/earlyamerica/freedom/doi/text.html

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.

--Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his governors to pass laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of representation in the legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved representative houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, incapable of annihilation, have returned to the people at large for their exercise; the state remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavored to prevent the population of these states; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of lands.

He has obstructed the administration of justice, by refusing his assent to laws for establishing judiciary powers.

He has made judges dependent on his will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislature.

He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his assent to their acts of pretended legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment for any murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these states:
For cutting off our trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing taxes on us without our consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of trial by jury:

For transporting us beyond seas to be tried for pretended offenses:

For abolishing the free system of English laws in a neighboring province, establishing therein an arbitrary government, and enlarging its boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule in these colonies:

For taking away our charters, abolishing our most valuable laws, and altering fundamentally the forms of our governments:

For suspending our own legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated government here, by declaring us out of his protection and waging war against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on the high seas to bear arms against their country, to become the executioners of their friends and brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian savages, whose known rule of warfare, is undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have we been wanting in attention to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here.

We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence.

They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, enemies in war, in peace friends.
We, therefore, the representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these colonies, solemnly publish and declare, that these united colonies are, and of right ought to be free and independent states; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent states, they have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do.

And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts: John Hancock, Samual Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

Source: The Pennsylvania Packet, July 8, 1776

Itty Bitty Kitty Kat!

Good lord, but I'm on a roll today!

When we were at the vet to pick up Gabi we almost came home with this:

Can you see how little it is?!  She's 6 weeks old and someone threw her and her three littermates into the trash.  Two died and the other one was adopted, this was the last one.

But I'm SURE that she will not be homeless for any length of time - after all I'm NOT a cat person and I wanted to take her home.

But we already have one dog and one cat (yes I do love the cat - she's grown on me after 9 years) and we think a third animal is a bit too much.

Especially one that would require a lot of attention like this little one would.

But man it was hard to put her down!

Happy Fourth of July!!!!!

Here is a good Article:

http://features.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2010/07/02/100-great-things-about-america-part-4/

Sing with me!

God Bless America!

My Home Sweet Home!

I'm sad that I won't be going to a bar-b-que today.

It is a work day - but if it wasn't I'd have the BBQ at my place... even though my back yard is a mini desert, and it's 123F outside right now!

However, I will be in the good old US of A on Friday!!!!

Whoop! Whoop!

My poor little dog...

My furbaby.

The little love of my life...well not exactly that little, she weighs about 45lbs.

She is a bit of a chunk, I thought I had a photo of her on this computer to show you, but I don't.

Anyway, Friday morning at about 4am I wake up to a terrible noise.

Gabi is throwing up.

So I hop out of bed and flick the light on and what do I see?!

Blood.

Two big puddles of blood.

So of course I freak out throw on some street clothes, wake up my husband, and then run downstairs to get the emergency number for the vet.

I call, then look at my phone in confusion to check the number, then call again.

Guess what?!  The SOB who's suppose to be on call has switched off his / her phone.

I couldn't believe it!

So I proceed to look up every emergency vet in Dubai and then start calling.

Someone must have an emergency back up that's actually answering their phones right?!

Wrong.

I called every number I could find in Dubai, Sharjah and even some in Abu Dhabi.  Not one FRICKEN person had their phone turned on or if they did they didn't answer it.

So we had to wait until the vet opened.

At 9am.

So we're waiting and Gabi throws up again.  More blood.

And she's looking so pathetic.

And I'm getting really pissed off.

So 8:30 rolls around and we take off for the vet.  About 8:45 a woman calls me and says she had a missed call did we have an emergency?

I'm like YES!  Why didn't you answer your phone? 

She tells me that it's her personal number and that she has a personal life.

I'm like really!?  If you put your number out there you should answer it! 

She starts whining that she can't be on call all the time so I hang up on her.

Correct me if I'm wrong but if you don't want to take a call on your "personal" time - don't post your damn number on the internet next to the phrase, "For emergencies call...".

I guess if you're too stupid to realize that, I don't really want you looking at my dog anyway.

Then about 9:00 another guy calls my phone and says - I have a missed call, do you have an emergency? 

Yes, as a matter of fact I do, my dog has been puking blood since 4 am - but since no one answered the emergency lines and it's now 9am we're at the vet.

No thanks to you. 

Then I hung up on that guy too.

So I leave my poor little dog at the vet and the vet calls me later and says - she seems to be fine, it's most likely just an ulcer - you can come pick her up.  If she has any more problems we'll do additional checks.

I'm like HELL NO! - you need to have a look inside her stomach or do an ultra sound or something to make sure she's not riddled with tumors (she just had one removed). SHE WAS PUKING COPIOUS AMOUTS OF BLOOD!

Why am I the only one who sees this as a problem?

Anyway, it did end up being an ulcer - but there are so many other things it could have been and I am so not one of those people who believe it leaving something until it really becomes a problem.

Like on what planet is puking up puddles of blood not a problem?!

Anyway, when there is a problem (as defined by me) I want a definitive answer as to what is wrong, and then I want to know how to treat it and then get on with treatment.

I'm not into the UK way of solving problems.  Wait until the person, animal, plant, dies because it'll be cheaper in the long run, 'cause then all you have to do is bury the problem.

Literally.

So needless to say, the vets here are nothing like the ones back home.

I mean after all one of the vets here wanted to amputate Gabi's leg because she has arthritis.

Sounds like a good treatment to me...

Oh she's limping - let's amputate.

Good call!

If you know me you can hear the sarcasm dripping off my tongue.  If you don't, just imagine the most sarcastic person you've ever heard speaking.

Anyway my little noodle is back home, snoozing with her tongue hanging out.

Life is good again.